use Illuminate\Validation\Rule;

exists 去除软删除字段的校验

	$validator = \Validator::make($data, ['phone_new' => [Rule::exists('users', 'phone')->whereNull('deleted_at'),]], ['phone_new.exists' => '手机号不存在',]);

unique 去除软删除字段的校验

// 新增
'email'=>'required|email|unique:users,email,NULL,id,deleted_at,NULL''email' => ['required', Rule::unique('users')->whereNull('deleted_at')]// 修改
'email'=> "required|email|unique:users,email,{$this->id},id,deleted_at,NULL"'email' => ['required', Rule::unique('users')->ignore($this->id)->whereNull('deleted_at')]

补充
冒号后面6个空，前两个不用说，中间两个表示忽略id=$this->id，后面两个表示加上限定条件deleted_at=null